Disney Music Makes You Age!

Someone messaged me on Facebook the other day about interest in our 25-year high school reunion. TWENTY FIVE YEARS?!

I suddenly find myself here, age 43, not remembering how I got here. Wasn’t I 7-years-old and playing Wiffle Ball in my backyard yesterday? Wasn’t I 12-years-old riding my BMX bike too fast (with no helmet) yesterday? Wasn’t I in high school wearing my oh-so-trendy “Co-Ed Naked Graduation” T-Shirt, eating whatever I wanted and not worrying about whoever was in the White House – YESTERDAY? (Thanks to strictlyt.com for the reminder of all those Co-ed Naked shirts from the 90s!)

Seriously, it can’t be 25 years, can it?

How did it suddenly sneak up on me? I’ve been pondering this over the past few child-induced sleepless nights. Then, while watching Disney videos with the kids, it dawned on. Somehow, I got stuck in a Magical Disney Aging Song!

Magical Indeed!

The research is all there. Watch the footage and you’ll clearly see that infants can, in the period of a 4-minute catchy musical number, grow up to be adults in the blink of an eye.

Take Tarzan for example. Not only did he age, but his gorilla and elephant friends got sucked into the Disney aging vortex too!

Don’t believe that? Take a look at Hercules. He comes to Phil a scrawny little kid and by the end of a seemingly short comic serenade – BOOM – he’s all God-like in stature.

Apparently, the magic isn’t specific to people. Check out Simba in The Lion King, a frightened lion cub. He meets up with some new guys, eats a few wild things from under a log and after singling along with the boys, he’s suddenly the king of beasts!

These phenomena continue in recent years, too! Look at Frozen. Ana, this little girl, just wants to build a snowman with her big sister. Over the course of ONE song, she’s suddenly all grown up and STILL without a snowman.

And Moana, poor Moana. All she wants to do is leave. Why? She KNOWS the song is coming and by the end she’ll have wasted her youth watching other people sing and dance all around her, about coconut trees.

So, I ask you – Modern Man community – how do we combat the Magical Disney Aging Music (MDAM) dilemma? How do we slow down time and allow OUR children to enjoy being kids?

All joking aside, the dilemma is real – the kids are growing up fast. People told me it would be the case, but I never really understood it till I had the kids of my own. My guess is that by the time I’m watching them cross the stage and receive their own diplomas, I’m going to feel like that time took no-more than a silly little musical number.

So, Uncle Keith here to remind you what the great philosopher of our days, Ferris Bueller, had to say:

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Don’t blink guys, it’s going to happen too fast.

Don’t even get me started on the power of an Instrumental Disney Magic Music! Lest us not forget the story of Up’s Carl and Ellie! (I’m not crying – you are!)

Hakuna Matata,

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